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christmasraptor's News

Well, Newgrounds...

2008-04-08 13:14:30 by christmasraptor

Who loves me?


This is Just Sad.

2008-03-31 09:40:25 by christmasraptor
Updated

RETURN OF THE EDIT: My Masterpiece was baleeted. Want some masterpiece theather? Well then, check the comments. I'll transcribe the entire thing.

EDIT: Brawl friend code is 2277-6646-0178

For instant lulz at other's retardedness, check out Darknessthehedgehog (?) The Worst Fanfic writer in history, and probable sufferer of autism.

For optimum lulz, read the news entries 41, 38 ( may cause grammatical bleeding, a tiny exerpt: "Rush vowed vengence for those who murdered his friends and his father."

For them? lolwut? Also, he said this faggy character was "Sonic + Link."

Back to lulziest entries.

If you can fucking manage to stumble through the entire eleven+ chapter story, than here they are, in order.

Posts 20, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 are the story.

Some highlights of faggotry: Guest characters include the Arbiter (wtf?) "Nega" ( read: color inverted in paint) versions of his "Custom character, beautifully and originally created"

Dante from devil may cry being his characters FUCKING FATHER ( just read through the faggotry til' he (?) mentions it)
And, oh yeah, all the hedgehog-thingies are BROTHERS, including the faggot "custom" character

This "Character description" Is almost worth reading through as well. Aside from the fact that his "custom character" has some relation to all of this little fag's favorite video games, well... read for yourself.

Also, all of his characters have a theme song, all of the theme songs are bad, and from another sonic-faggot.

Moar lulzy entries.

3, 5. That's called "review deletion", dipshit.

Number 10: I won't spoil it, but it does sound stupid.

11: Hey, dumbass, the guy who does those has a good reason not to leave, sorry if I'm wrong, but...

14: for the love of god, don't do it.

15: Faggot gives out his name, now I can find and kill him easier.

16: I'm so fucking scared of your angry hedgehog's angel form and devil trigger. Now kill yourself.


17: I call it "good news"

19: No fucking way you're in high school.

I dub this fag, who actually seems to think he's a fictional character he made up, an Otakukin.

I have no issue with any kind of people, except Otakukin. That's kind of odd- I just have to say.

Thinking you're a fictional character is the mark of a deranged individual.

I'm a furry, so don't get bitching on me about "otakufursecution" or whatever the fuck you would call it.

I need to preserve these forever, in case he (?) deletes them, later...

Any Ideas?

Enjoy <3.



Betty is lulzy. Join the Betty Luff Movement.

Nao.


Raptor is going to France!

2008-03-09 21:06:29 by christmasraptor
Updated

Thats right, people- I'm going transcontinental for nine days. Then I'll go to disneyworld for a week.

no, really.

I'll still be online, though.

If I can, I'll take requests for pictures taken with my shiny new camera.

I am now In france.

I guess this is universal.

Raptor is going to France!


goddammit.

2008-03-05 17:49:03 by christmasraptor

I just figured out that the internet has caused every problem, ever. Discuss.


my book so far

2008-03-02 20:14:37 by christmasraptor
Updated

here it is.

Introduction

The man's chest was heaving, as he ran through the grimy alleyways of downtown Marlborough. It had been a close to ordinary day, he left home, drove to his office, and took most of his day to crunch numbers. He left his office, at a local accounting firm early that day, to pick up a present for his daughter's birthday. She would be turning three, and he had promised to be there. He had never expected this, when he parked his car and took a shortcut through the rear of several shops. The scent of industrial exhaust filled the city air, and roaring engines filled the man's ears, as he walked onward, carefully stepping over several foul-smelling puddles.

However, currently, the man had only one thought: survival. As he ran, his leather shoes began to tear on nails and rusted metal, and his pants became drenched in runoff from a recent storm. The man who had been chasing him seemed to have lost the trail, and the drenched, fearful man took a sigh of relief, followed by several pants of exhaustion. Clutching a small, newly purchased doll to his chest, he trembled as he thought of how he had barely escaped his deranged assailant. As he brought out his cell phone to call the police, his attention to his surroundings faltered, and, for less than one second, he closed his eyes to rest.

He thought of how, without warning, he had been attacked, and focused on the rip in his formerly white shirt, blossoms of red tainting it. It stung with pain as he struggled to sit in the grime of the alley. He heard shouts from party goers further downtown, none close to him.

A shame- He could have used some help. Inspecting his phone, he found it broken, with some wires shorting. "Damn it-"he thought to himself. "I need to get back to my car." The man had been gradually working away from the area he was assailed, towards his van. It was covered in stickers, and in bad shape, but it had locks, and a first aid kit. He could patch himself up inside, and drive home. It was only a shallow cut, but it had been bleeding for a while and he was feeling dizzy.

He managed to catch his breath to stand and keep moving, when a shadowy figure caught his eye. Turning quickly, he just saw a glimpse of... something. He couldn't tell what, but whatever was moving made him uneasy. He grabbed onto a slightly rusted pipe, and prepared to defend himself. After all, the punk who attacked him only had a knife, so he had an advantage in range. He started to move slowly toward where the shadowy figure had disappeared, when everything seemed to stop.

He heard a dull snap sound, and was suddenly numb. He began to raise his arms to retaliate, when he found a sudden loss of weight at his side. Turning his head downward, he saw a dark shape. A throb in his shoulder prompter him to realize it was his left arm. He barely felt it go. He felt his eyes roll back as everything went black. The very last thing he saw that night was a man standing above him, dripping his own blood.

He would wake up the next morning in the hospital, greeted by his concerned family. He was lucky to be alive, he was told. The call was made by a man, who was never identified, with cuts all over his body, drenched in sweat and blood. He was panting heavily into the phone, and apparently fought his would-be killer off. He left immediately after the paramedics arrived. The bodies of the muggers were found a block down, torn to shreds with broken bones. His arm was missing from the scene, but parts of it were found a while down the road, near a dumpster.

Touching his stump and wincing, as his family crowded around him, they were all so relieved that he was safe. None of them realized, as he presented the present he had so desperately protected and his daughter squealed with joy, that the events of the previous night would eventually set off a reaction that would rip apart our perception of the world, and the concept of humanity.

Chapter One

The boy blinked his eyes once, and sat up in bed. Shaking his head and clearing out his eyes, he looked out his window to see the sun rising. It illuminated the mountains outside his window, causing stark contrast between their dark, speckled peaks and the orange and red glow of morning. A few birds chirped from the forest. He got up to get dressed, when he remembered it was a Saturday. Even more enthusiastic than before, he got dressed raced downstairs to begin his day. His parents were already up, making breakfast.

Running past them, greeting them with a "hi," he rounded the corner and outside. Putting on his jacket, he ate the sandwich he had grabbed off the counter as he ran toward town. Reaching the streets about a thousand feet from his back yard, he brought out his collapsible bike and rode into town. Two minutes later, he came to a stop outside a local store.

"Good morning, Sal." The boy said. Sal replied "Mornin', Mark." Mark had been going to Sal's store every Saturday for two months now for the sole purpose of the Saturday paper. Many families didn't get the Marlborough enquirer, so many children around the area went to Sal's store to read the comics. Sal was a kindly old man, and was round and stout enough to give off a jolly aura, making children of all ages comfortable around him. He even went so far as to dress as Santa during the holiday season- after all, he didn't need any padding, or a false beard. He allowed anyone to browse through his magazines and newspapers, for as long as they wanted. So, his magazine aisle was almost like a library.

Sal even had set up tables for people to relax, eat, and read. As Mark walked back to the tables to the far end, he saw a small group of people clustered around a laptop. Sal's store had offered wireless connections for three years now, and it seemed like the man with the laptop and his friends were there every day.

Mark reached the back, sat down, and pulled out a notebook and a pencil case. Reaching into the rack next to it, he removed a newspaper. It was, of course, the Saturday paper, but he wasn't looking at it to follow the comics. Mark had been following certain local homicides in the area for a few months, since an unexplained murder occurred in the wooded camping areas around the city. Bringing out his map, Mark began to plot out the next few points. Scanning through the week's obituaries he found what he had been looking for- death from loss of blood, but many beating wounds and post-mortem extensive damage.

After looking at his map, Mark thought over exactly when each murder had happened. Looking at a birds-eye view of the area, all of the murders had happened in or around wooded areas until two months ago- when a man was brutally murdered in a neighboring town. This city was connected directly to Marlborough by Highway, and it wasn't much of a stretch of imagination for Mark to decide that the killer must have used the highway.

However, this is where Mark had hit a snag. There were never any details of the crime. All that Mark could get from the obituaries was a brief description of the cause of death, and time. What he needed was someone who could tell him what exactly was inflicting these wounds... but no one else seemed to understand the connection between the crimes.

It was beyond any rational thought that the police would give him any details- the notion of discussing murders with a civilian, especially a minor, was absurd. After a long while of thought, Mark did what any adolescent would do in his situation, namely, he decided to put everything he could find on the situation on the internet. Bringing out his laptop, he tapped into the wireless connection and brought up a few forum websites. As he began typing out his thoughts and evidence on the matter, a small bubble appeared at the bottom of his screen. It read; "C4nu5 would like to chat."

Clicking it, the following message appeared.

C4nu5: whtvr u do, don't post tht. Fnsh up & leve the store.

Replying quickly, Mark typed out the following:

Marker: What are you talking about?

C4nu5: look B hind u.

Mark brought out his cell phone, and turned it off. Suddenly working as a mirror, he saw that everything on his screen was being copied by the man sitting across the room. He and his friends were busily talking, and it seemed rather grave.

Marker: What's going on over there?

C4nu5: They R copying ur screen- u bettr not put tht up. Thy don't have it copied yet.

Panicking slightly, Mark typed out this frantic message:

Marker: what should I do?

C4nu5: I will cre8 a disctraction- copy and paste this file over that whn I do. K?
Marker: I understand, but what are you going to do?

C4nu5: wtch & lern.

Mark turned his head slightly, in time to catch a rack in the back of the store toppling over. He watched in awestruck horror as the aisles collapsed like dominos, and the stand directly next to the group around the laptop began to fall.

C4nu5: Now.

The rack creaked slightly, and the man at the laptop sharply jerked his head to look at it. Jumping aside with his computer, the the man collapsed to the ground just outside the rack. The table was crushed, as were the chairs. The man's friends helped him to his feet, but although bleeding from several places, he seemed more frustrated than harmed.

Suddenly remembering what he was supposed to do, he opened the attached document and quickly hit ctrl-a, ctrl-c, then moving to the forums, ctrl-v. He then hit post.

The man and his group shortly left the store. Then, the telltale ping of a message emanated from his laptop's speakers.

C4nu5: good wrk, now don't try th@ again. Thy r gng 2 be aftr u now.

Marker: what?! What did you do that for??? You wrecked Sal's store!

C4nu5: He was gng 2 kill u if u psted tht. Just come back here 2 minutes b4 it closes, k?

Marker: No way! You nearly got people killed!

C4nu5: Tht guy knws who u r now, he will find you. If he & his group do, u r dead D:

Marker: Then how can I trust you? How do I know you aren't out to get me too? And how did you know my IM?

C4nu5: lol, ease up, k? Y would I atk him if we were wrking 2gether? & I knew ur IM bcuz I've been wtching U snce u strted lving here.

Marker: you... you've been watching me?!

C4nu5: yeah, sry :S I had 2- it was 4 work.

Marker: Work?! Work makes you stalk me?!

C4nu5: not stalk, lol. I was wtching u to keep these guyz from getting u, k?

Marker: What? What is going on???

C4nu5: ugh... I knew u wouldn't underst&. Look- meet me here 2 minutes b4 it closes & I'll explain. But be careful- you should probably not go in the dark.

Marker: er... but Sal's closes at eleven at night. If I get here at 10:58, I'll be traveling in the dark.

C4nu5: Not if u stay here!

Marker: Um... let me put this gently... WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

C4nu5: jeez, its like ur screaming in my ear through the internet lol :D Just w8 here and u'll C.

Marker: But I have to go home- what will I say to my parents?

C4nu5: got it covrd.

Marker: how?

C4nu5: lol, chk ur e-mail.

Mark went into his inbox, and saw one unread message, from his school principal, Greg Waldorph. Dreading as to what this contained, he clicked "open."

The message read:

Dear Parents of our eighth grade students, we are currently embarking on a field trip to the Maisenburg science institution, in England. On Saturday, may eighteenth, our students of class D will be traveling. Your students have not given you permission slips, as this change was rather last-minute. The original plan called for a visit in April, but due to a scheduling issue we must now go today. Your children will be back next Friday, and as we will be staying in the luxurious six seasons hotel, they will be taken care of.

Our apologies for the sudden scheduling change,

-Greg Waldorph.

Marker: No way.

C4nu5: wut?

Marker: you can actually type?

C4nu5: ... just meet me here @ 10:58 >:C

Marker: You still haven't told me what's going on-

C4nu5: It's complic8ted, but... ok, in this case, we're the good guys and they're the bad guys. K?

Marker: fine... but if this is a prank...

C4nu5: lol, guys. C U L8er.

Marker: Wait, you said guys? Are you a girl?

Then, the following message appeared on Mark's screen:

C4nu5 has left chat.

Puzzled and confused, Mark sat down to wait. It was going to be a long day...

Chapter 2

Mark must have been there for ages- after helping Sal clean up, he fell asleep at the desk. He woke up with a jolt, having been startled by a sharp "ping" by his computer. Groggily sittingv upright, Mark read a small text bubble- "C4nu5 would like to chat"

Clicking I, Mark read:

C4nu5: hpy 10:58!

Marker: ... yeah, sure, what happens now?

C4nu5: go outside, & get in the idling car. It's there 4 u.

Marker: Is this really safe?

C4nu5: get in the car, & stop askng tht. Its safe lol :P

Marker: all right...

Mark walked out the door, waving a small goodbye to a sleeping Sal, and stepped into the back seat of the car.

C4nu5: Bckle up, Mark :D.

Marker: is this a joke?! There's no one in the car but me!

C4nu5: lol, I can't leave here right now, I'm keeping any1 from tapping ur computer. :C

Marker: so how do I get wherever I'm going? I can't drive.

C4nu5: lol, evr hear of an RC car?

Marker: yes...

C4nu5: This is a big one.

Marker: oh, no.

With that, Mark heard a gear shifting. Suddenly, the car began rolling uphill.

C4nu5: btw, ur clothes r in the bck.

Marker: I'm not even going to ask how you got those.

C4nu5: but it tk me soooo long to crack ur house code...

Marker: Really don't want to know.

C4nu5: lolk ^^

After a few hours, the Car came to a stop.

Marker: What happened?

C4nu5: hold on...

The car began doing a turn to the left, into a path that is normally reserved for biking.

C4nu5: Now we go fast lol >:D

Marker: oh, no....

The car's speedometer climbed quickly, peaking at seventy, as branches and twigs slapped against the windshield.

C4nu5: lol, just like burnout! :D

Marker: oh god, I'm going to die...

C4nu5: now, the tricky part is getting over it...

Marker: what?

C4nu5: hold on tight.

The car's gear changed again, as it approached an earthen mound in front of a concrete wall tipped with barbed wire.

The car rammed into the mound, and was sent upwards, as if by a ramp.

C4nu5: lol, cool!

Mark watched in abject terror as the car barely cleared the wall, taking a lot of electrified wire with the drive shaft, in a pile ten feet behind the rear fender. The crackling live wires briefly illuminated the smoking wreck that used to be the bottom of the car.

C4nu5: aww... I thought that would work better ;(

Marker: You almost got me killed!

C4nu5: sorry... D;

Marker: Sorry?! I have no idea what is going on, and you've taken me on a random joyride through a BIKE TRAIL!!!

C4nu5: <sniffle> im sry... ;( </sniffle>

Marker: ...Where am I, anyway?

C4nu5: Lol, ur @ the Madison county airport :)

Marker: now what?

C4nu5: Turn off ur comp, and meet me inside the hanger up there, k?

Marker: All right.

Mark turned off his computer, put it in his backpack, took out his collapsible bike, and rode towards the hanger.

did I do good? >:C

relevant picture is relevant

my book so far


NOOZ.

2008-03-01 14:16:22 by christmasraptor
Updated

active list is active.

I'll be doing a writing collab with flashplayer5 soon, so that'll be up.

relevant picture is relevant.

NOOZ.


OMFG! NOOZ! (Storie two :3)

2008-02-26 18:19:48 by christmasraptor
Updated

well, hi people. I made a story, but if you miss my list, it is still active, and you can find it here >:C

Copy pasta from word- The intro to a hopefully published book. Enjoy!

Anyway, this might go on furaffinity when I am done- it is about werewolves and stuff ^^;

: first furry story.

Introduction

The man's chest was heaving, as he ran through the grimy alleyways of downtown Marlborough. It had been a close to ordinary day, he left home, drove to his office, and took most of his day to crunch numbers. He left his office, at a local accounting firm early that day, to pick up a present for his daughter's birthday. She would be turning three, and he had promised to be there. He had never expected this, when he parked his car and took a shortcut through the rear of several shops. The scent of industrial exhaust filled the city air, and roaring engines filled the man's ears, as he walked onward, carefully stepping over several foul-smelling puddles.

However, currently, the man had only one thought: survival. As he ran, his leather shoes began to tear on nails and rusted metal, and his pants became drenched in runoff from a recent storm. The man who had been chasing him seemed to have lost the trail, and the drenched, fearful man took a sigh of relief, followed by several pants of exhaustion. Clutching a small, newly purchased doll to his chest, he trembled as he thought of how he had barely escaped his deranged assailant. As he brought out his cell phone to call the police, his attention to his surroundings faltered, and, for less than one second, he closed his eyes to rest.

He thought of how, without warning, he had been attacked, and focused on the rip in his formerly white shirt, blossoms of red tainting it. It stung with pain as he struggled to sit in the grime of the alley. He heard shouts from party goers further downtown, none close to him.

A shame- He could have used some help. Inspecting his phone, he found it broken, with some wires shorting. "Damn it-"he thought to himself. "I need to get back to my car." The man had been gradually working away from the area he was assailed, towards his van. It was covered in stickers, and in bad shape, but it had locks, and a first aid kit. He could patch himself up inside, and drive home. It was only a shallow cut, but it had been bleeding for a while and he was feeling dizzy.

He managed to catch his breath to stand and keep moving, when a shadowy figure caught his eye. Turning quickly, he just saw a glimpse of... something. He couldn't tell what, but whatever was moving made him uneasy. He grabbed onto a slightly rusted pipe, and prepared to defend himself. After all, the punk who attacked him only had a knife, so he had an advantage in range. He started to move slowly toward where the shadowy figure had disappeared, when everything seemed to stop.

He heard a dull snap sound, and was suddenly numb. He began to raise his arms to retaliate, when he found a sudden loss of weight at his side. Turning his head downward, he saw a dark shape. A throb in his shoulder prompter him to realize it was his left arm. He barely felt it go. He felt his eyes roll back as everything went black. The very last thing he saw that night was a man standing above him, dripping his own blood.

He would wake up the next morning in the hospital, greeted by his concerned family. He was lucky to be alive, he was told. The call was made by a man, who was never identified, with cuts all over his body, drenched in sweat and blood. He was panting heavily into the phone, and apparently fought his would-be killer off. He left immediately after the paramedics arrived. The bodies of the muggers were found a block down, torn to shreds with broken bones. His arm was missing from the scene, but parts of it were found a while down the road, near a dumpster.

Touching his stump and wincing, as his family crowded around him, they were all so relieved that he was safe. None of them realized, as he presented the present he had so desperately protected and his daughter squealed with joy, that the events of the previous night would eventually set off a reaction that would rip apart our perception of the world, and the concept of humanity.

Thanks for reading :3


A list of people I know (different categories)

2008-02-04 12:28:50 by christmasraptor
Updated

Here is a demented, pointless, list of people I know and recognize on the forums. (regulars) I'll add more to it every now and then. I stole this idea from about six people, but I'm doing my own. If you think you should be on the list, leave a post or pm me. I'll find out immediately if I recognize you.

Mooguy- Goes first for being clubmates with me and making my incredibly sexy sig.

Dead-body-Man- Madness crew co-leader, and someone with a sense of humor akin to mine, and epic lulz.

Joza1- My Madness crew buddy, and my eternal spam ally, and epic lulz.

SupraAddict- Madness crew leader, and epic lulz.

GOTHCLAWZ- second highest ranked member in MCC (after me :D), my co-conspirator in crime, and epic lulz.

lilhunter03- another madness crew buddy, someone who I've shared many a lol with, and epic lulz.

TheNossinator- Makes them songs for us regular NGers, and did a great job on mine. Thank again! ^^

BananaBreadMuffin- holy shit, 30,000 posts? and you started a sig trend a while back. Of course, all this is eclipsed by your recent modhood! Congratulations!

Dei-Sama- Easily one of the nicest people on the bbs. Could use a nice self-esteem booster though.

WilliWowza- I miss your animated sigs

Mechabloby- yours too

Sawke- I miss the one made for you, But you are still a bbs god. (penicorns are good too, I guess)

Gangstaninja- not a regular, but I had him sign up.

BigFuzzyKitten- Who doesn't know who this guy is?

Xavon- I never did find the hidden penis in your sig.

Zerok- You are the judge, jury, and executioner.

Church-Of-Realities- you still have malware. And some non-pink display.

Phantom- NGDD leader/ bbs god

Cole- What do you not do, exactly?

AnalPenguinFarming- NGDD active member, third in command

TomsPulp- Love him or hate him, he's there.

AshfordPride- Objection!

Sunglasses: Photoshop god.

HotactionYiffur- He'd yiif it.

NintendoMadness- A BRITISH guy? Who likes NINTENDO? Oh, shit!

Gu-Rilla- All around entertaining poster. Part of the "family."

Homor- Has many pandamen. Has one of the most interesting blogs on NG.

Ryan- Made of win.

Eyelovepoozy- not the biggest poster, but has one of the userpages with the most links on ng. Very cool, but not with pandamen. Also, Apparantly cannot control a nicotine addiction.

Flashplayer5- He wrote a mystery novel, just for you! In it, I'm a CSI :3

Hybrid-Of-Souls- An activ eposter, and creator of the annual bbs awards.

People who should post more, but don't:

Krinkels- Madness=good=respect. Why not take a break to chat with your fans every now and then?

Pimp- You have the most experience on newgrounds, and one of the lowest post counts. We'd love to hear your opinions.

TomFulp- It's your website. Post on it.

Random users: You post here, and I add you, even if I have no idea who you are. If you are a total newbie/alt, I'll see whether or not you are retarded before I put you here.

Crazy-Dorsy- I am also a random video game-playing guy.

Bloopco- he can draw future-y tankmen.

undeadcl0wn-4- apparantly has been hit by a car. yay! Also needs to know that I decide what your caption is.

aldlv- you have a complicated blog.

1337leader- says he's bisexual. Do we believe him?

paddydude- like Madness 8. I approve.

Cup0fTea- made of win and tea.

Tacoman764- Wants to be known.

Nice work! Stupid people go here.

NaziNinja- you like Kim possible hentai. Not stupid, but funny in a stupid way. you get an e-cookie.

MidgetHobo- Racist, bigoted fuck.

All for now, more to come. I'm tired, and working on more flashes.


My Diet

2008-01-29 10:56:15 by christmasraptor

So, people have been telling me I don't eat very well. Every day, I have no breakfast, then I eat four bags of cookies and drink eight chocolate milks. Then, I eat chik-fil-a for dinner. Now, from this, I sound like a fatass. But, I haven't gained more than ten pounds over last year- I weigh 110.

I know- I have the best metabolism ever. But- people say I'll get diabetes. Now, I have no history of the disease in my family, so I'm not worried.

But, still- I wanted to get your opinions.

Any advice is appreciated.